State of the Union speech

of the first Independent president

©Paul M. Alvarez 2000-2008

Time: The not too distant future,

 

Welcome Ladies and Gentlemen. The recent administrations have consisted of nothing more than business as usual from our Washington bureaucrats. The economic theories of the past have failed. Our economy is in shambles, our nation is destitute, our debt is staggering, and our prisons are filled to overflowing. Our armed forces are scattered across the globe, playing at peacekeeping, at an outrageous cost to our nation. You have elected me because you have said that enough is enough and that you are finally ready for real change.

Government is inherently evil. Any entity that seeks to take your hard-earned money or possessions from you by force is, by its very nature, evil. And if you do not believe that this has been occurring, consider what would have happened had you not paid your taxes this year. As has happened often in the past, armed Government agents would have appeared at your doorstep prepared to arrest you and confiscate your property. This government has a long history of using its might against her very own citizens.

As this is intolerable in a civilized society, I have developed a plan to correct these inequities. Our economy and our nation are about to enter a new state of evolution. We are finally going to be able to progress towards a real balancing of the budget instead of the smoke-and-mirrors of the other parties. We will be able to, at last, eliminate the National Debt while at the same time reducing the number of our citizens in prison.

We begin this new era by abolishing your personal income taxes. No longer will you be a slave to your government masters, no longer will you have to work an extra job just to pay your taxes. Furthermore, as they are now superfluous, I hereby announce the abolition of the Internal Revenue Service and its attendant drain on the budget and the moral fiber of our great nation.

He must be mad you say, how can we possibly hope to accomplish all of this you might well ask. These objectives seem at cross–purposes. The answer is complex in its simplicity and simple in its complexity.

For too long our nation has been the "policeman of the world" and the rich uncle to our overseas friends. This was tolerable when our economy was capable of sustaining multi-trillion dollar budgets. That is no longer the case. We have taken the first step toward finally balancing our budget and beginning the twenty-first century as a viable economic force. We will henceforth continue our defense commitments but we will now charge a fee for them.

The military services that we were once able to provide at no cost to our allies will now be financed by those ready, willing and able to do so. Countries with thriving economies, such as Japan and Saudi Arabia, who spend little on their defense and depend on us for their protection while at the same time competing with us on the world markets will now have to pay their fair share. We will give deferential treatment to our existing allies. But, if any nation wants to be shielded by the umbrella of US power, if any country feels threatened and needs protection from powerful neighbors, they will be able to do so by the mere expedience of paying for it. These funds will be applied directly to the reduction of the Federal deficit. I anticipate the total elimination of the National Debt within five years time.

As the job of our regular armed forces is the defense of our country and our sovereign borders, we will not be able to use them in this role. Instead, I hereby announce the creation of a new military force. We have named this force the New Army of the Potomac. For efficiency, this will be an integrated force with elements from the air, land, and naval branches working in unison. The main body of our force will consist of a volunteer core of career officers. Men with experience and training. Men who will demonstrate that being a warrior is a desirable and respected profession again. These officers will be supplemented by a "draft" force that will be generated by giving many of our criminals the option of spending their time in prison or spending it in the service of their country with a full pardon at the end,

Our prisons are full of petty criminals and drug offenders, many of whom just fell on hard times. We will take this population of habitual criminals and drug addicts, rehabilitate them, train and motivate them, and turn them into productive members of our society. They in turn will serve their country and be allowed to re-enter society as respected members of the community at the end of their terms.

Our industrial might will now be focused toward the support of this end. This will be the best-equipped military force on the planet, second only to our own regular military force. We will now shift into a permanent "war time" economy, a condition that has, historically, consistently provided us with the greatest economic potential and development. Unemployment will be virtually non-existent and production will rise to all time high levels.

And, finally, we are hereby giving notice to the United Nations to vacate the premises. For too long they have taken advantage of our hospitality while plotting our demise, abused us diplomatically and expected us to provide the money and the manpower for their excursions and political experiments. They have demonstrated that their interests are often considerably different than ours and their blatant meddling in our government is unacceptable. So we are telling them "get out of town", find some socialist country to set up your new residence for you are no longer welcome here.

Ladies and Gentlemen, citizens of the United States, our future has arrived. Thank you and good evening.

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