Quotes From Uncle Raul

©Paul M. Alvarez 2000-2008

 

"Once you've arrived...Well, there you've been"

 

“God hates you. The only reason that he lets you live is that He has a sense of humor”

 

“We exist at the whim of an indifferent God, He cares as much about good as he does evil.”

 

“Pain is natures way of letting you know that you are still alive”

 

“I was never afraid to die until I began to believe in reincarnation.”

 

“Even a werewolf has a mother”

 

“People will only notice you if they perceive you to be a threat or an easy mark.”

 

“Nothing makes someone sit up and take notice like high-explosives.”

 

“If you keep fucking with me you and me are going to do some dancing! One of us is probably going to end up in the hospital and the other is going to end up in jail. I don’t know which, but do you want to end up in either place?”

 

“Never point a gun at a man unless you have decided that you can’t ambush him somewhere else”

 

“A picture is worth a thousand words, so make sure you get the negatives!”

 

“Alcohol may not cure any of your problems, but it is a good anesthetic."

 

“Religion is for people who think that their lives have meaning.”

 

“I have so many scars that you would be hard-pressed to find enough unblemished skin to make a decent lampshade”

 

“I would just as soon walk out of the house without my pants on than without a knife in my pocket”

 

“When I was a child I, like most children, I was afraid of the dark. One day I realized that I was the nastiest thing that I was likely to find in the dark”

 

“Death is the Great Equalizer”

 

“Computers are stupid, you are a fool to expect them to replace common sense”

 

“The illusion of life is that we all think that we are going to make it out of here alive”

 

“Men are basically masochists, particularly in the area of love. No matter how bad the pain we seem to always come back for more.”

 

“There is no problem so big that it can’t be fixed by dying.”

 

“The only Political Correctness is winning.”

 

“If all else fails, blame someone else.”

 

“Superior Firepower is being able to call in a B-52 air-strike.”

 

“Security is knowing that your enemies and your friends are afraid of you.”

 

“History is the disguising of the truth by the winners”

 

“The only path to peace is through victory.”

 

“Never lend a friend money, he will always resent you afterward.”

 

“Walk softly and carry a .45 Automatic”

 

“Ultimately, the only things that you can depend on in life are yourself and a sharp blade”

 

“Love is the illusion of eternity.”

 

“When guns are outlawed, we’re all fucked.”

 

“All the tricks that you just learned, I knew before you were born.”

 

“Experience, cunning and a knife in the throat will always overcome natural ability.”

 

“If you have time to kill, practice your reload.”

 

“The elite think you stupid whereas you think them vulnerable. Which is more dangerous?”

 

“He who dies with the most toys is a dumb-ass. His heirs will not appreciate them and squander his possessions.”

 

“Socialism is only attractive to those who have not had to suffer under its yoke.”

 

“The most powerful government is still at the mercy of the Lone Gunman.”

 

“Truth is directly proportional to our state of inebriation.”

 

“Getting caught is an obvious sign of failure.”

 

“Fear is nature’s way of letting you know that you need more practice.”

 

“Men are simple creatures; a little protein and a little sex on occasion and we are happy. Women use that against us.”

 

“When you think that all is lost, well, it probably is so you might as well go for the throat.”

 

“When a woman has you by the balls it can be a pleasurable experience until she starts to squeeze.”

 

“The first rule of gun fighting; have a gun, the first rule of knife fighting; have a gun.”

 

“There are only two places where you will find your enemies; either at your throat or under you heel.”

 

“If worse comes to worse, I am always a bad example.”

 

“The only friend that you can count on is a .45 Colt Automatic in your hand.”

 

“We are nothing but Roadkill on the Highway to Eternity”

 

"I'm easy to get along with, just ask any of my ex-wives."

 

"When you first meet a man look for his weaknesses. You never know when you might have to kill him."

 

"I quit running when I learned how to shoot."

 

 

 

Email: Omega Crossroads